Really? A Size Medium is Too Big on You?

I was already having an amazing day when the dressing room clerk at the TJMaxx said this to me tonight as I returned the item I had just tried on.

Ouch.

Like I needed one more reminder that I've completely given up my physical fitness the last few months.

It was one of those absurd moments where you walk away sort of laughing to yourself thinking, "WOW. Did that seriously just happen?". I'm taking it as a good sign, however, that I walked away laughing and didn't instead immediately burst into tears. I think that's saying something, right?

Oh, well. I'll keep you posted.

First The Rapture, Now Car-mageddon

Just to be clear: I do not live in LA.

However, you'd have to live under a bigger rock than I do, NOT to have been aware of the planned 405 Shutdown. Only four days shy of two months exactly, another over-hyped catastrophe fizzles.

No one has ever accused me of having my finger on the pulse of current events, but seriously, I FINALLY get around to joining AAA on the day The Rapture's supposed to take place. (WHO DOES THAT?) Forever onward, my Auto Club anniversary will be May 21.

That is, of course, unless the world ends (as predicted) on October 21, 2011.

I'll keep you posted.

k8

Lycopene

I'll take mine with a side of vodka. Stolichnaya, thanks.

What?

I'm 75% eastern european. And a stada baba. Zajebista.

Hahaha. But seriously. Who doesn't like a Bloody Mary? Monday thru Sunday? I never understood "liquid meal replacement" until now. And I'm getting 120% of the Vitamin C Daily Value to boot!

Smacznego.

k8

Who knew???

That my Alternator Adventure (did I not mention that??? Hmmm...) a few months back was really just training for my Fourth of July BBQ ride. I clearly spoke too soon in yesterday's post when I said, "So no riding or running.".

It should have occurred to me at the time of the invite that we would be riding our bikes to the BBQ in Long Beach. Obviously, since I'm posting this, it didn't. The Vakay Surprise was on me when I inquired about carpooling and was informed we were planning to ride. Whoops.

One should probably never even compare the Gary Fisher Wahoo and the Specialized S-Works Roubaix. Just about the only thing they have in common is that both are bicycles. But for the sake of my story and in this particular case neither has any form of cargo space. (Why should they?) So how does one transport a six pack and a watermelon?

In their 15-year-old LLBean rucksack of course! It's not Chrome, but it is one of my best investments of all time. Yep. I prepped my Vakay Surprise watermelon salad and with the help of some blue masking tape and a few plastic bags secured it. The bottles of Rolling Rock helped maintain the watermelon's upright position. Toss in an ice pack. Fix a couple vodka lemonades in To Go cups and we're ready to roll.

I just wish I knew how much that rucksack weighed. I'm pretty sure it was more than the alternator...

Beer & Brassieres

If only I were having the wild good time that that sounds indicative of... it does sound like one hell of a retail concept though.... or the Harley Rendezvous Dad & Mr. B just went to...

Anyway. My "holiday weekend" has gone a little something like this,

Saturday

• Work at The Cafe
• Walk Scout
• Take nap
• Go to bed

Sunday

• Wake up at 7:15 to go to church at 8 before my cafe shift at 9:30. Discover the dog has pissed in my work bag. Yep. The one with all the triathlon files in it. Awesome.
• Mop up mess.
• Go to church.
• Work at cafe: I had a table of 8 that handed me six credit cards and two different cash amounts. No, no, no. So I have to split the check into 8 separate tabs. OK, fine. Half way through the split one of the guys comes to tell me, "but we've just decided we want to order coffees as well.". Holy hell, Batman. O-kaaaay. So back I go to take their coffee order. AND THEN divide the check into eight separate tabs.
• Starving when I got home from work, I wanted french toast and eggs. But the milk had gone south. Way south. Like to Mexico. So I borrowed some from the neighbors.
• I decided to go to Marshall's to try to replace the world's best travel coffee mug that smashed to bits at Scout's this week. No luck. But I did buy some picture frames and a size XL skirt on clearance for $7 because it was JUST SO CUTE. (Who does that?).
• But my Target order takes the cake, I bought: beer, two bras, butter, popsicles, and a can opener. I got some second glances from the guys looking for the Garden Center (P.S. Guys, There isn't one).

Monday

• Was hoping Scott (not Scout) would take me for a bike ride (read: teach me how to ride a road bike) this morning. But trail running won the vote. The last time we went for a trail run Scott nearly killed us. And I was in much better shape then. So no riding or running. Scout and I went for a walk (read: I dragged him around town because he has decided he doesn't like walks.)
• Currently, (listening to country music: "Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey Whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky".) working on the previously mentioned triathlon. Because it's not gonna plan itself and it's only 56 days away! (YIKES!) But at least I get to work poolside at Scout's.
• Going to a BBQ in Long Beach tonight. Probably gonna take Vakay Surprise again. And the previously mentioned beer.

I hope there's fireworks! I'm a sucker for fireworks.

I'll keep ya posted.

Happy 4th of July, everybody!

k8