New Jersey, Orange, Syracuse

Three words that make me memorable. Or not.

Hahaha. OK so this is the story of last Thursday. And my on-going job search. I'll start at the beginning...

Nearly everyday I get up, rustle up some coffee (I have yet to buy a coffee pot. It's top of the list though.), and fire up

Craigslist. There are some truly amazing postings on Craigslist: Beer Wench, Experienced Knife-Man, and Vegas Dancer are my most recent favorites. Nearly all of them require a headshot be sent along with one's resume. So I spend a few hours sifting through them, emailing them to myself and then when my computer battery dies I do something else and follow up on the short list in the afternoon.

Last week I found a post for a Receptionist at the Mercedes-Benz dealer in Newport Beach which happens to be the Number 1 Mercedes-Benz dealership in the world. On Thursday all interested candidates should come to the dealership at 10AM to fill out an application, etc. So on Thursday I get up, I get dressed like I'm going to a legit interview: winter white cords, navy blue button down, fab shoes, fab bag, lots of jewelry, and I drive to Newport. I arrive at the most COMPLEX complex ever. This place was crazy!

The Valets (Valet!) were expecting us, so after I parked per their instructions, I headed off to find Reception. No easy task I'll tell you! I started in Guest Services where there was a full service nail salon, coffee bar with baristas, and who knows what else. (Now MAYBE all MB dealerships are like this, but I drive a 1998 third-hand Jeep Wrangler so how would I know!) Anyway, I get there, I finally find Reception, and there are probably 20 other women already there. A diverse group, though I was the only one NOT wearing black and not visibly carrying my resume in one of those plastic book report covers. (What is with that? I haven't seen one of those since 1998.) One gal felt that a skin tight black mini skirt was the way to go. And hey, she may get the job.

While we all awkwardly stood around waiting to be escorted wherever we were going next one guy did show up and he brought a friend along. (I never understand this.) FINALLY, "Heather" leads us all out a side door, through a side parking lot, up some side stairs, and into a classroom-like room where she gives us the basics about the job and hands out applications. She asks if anyone needs a pen (not that she's brought any) and about half the candidates raise their hands. Now, call me crazy but if you are going to job interview shouldn't you have a pen??? Personally, if I were conducting this "interview" I would have told the pen-less they were free to go.

I had a pen; so I filled out the 565 page application. (Though I may have signed a waiver forfeiting my first born. My apologies if anyone reading this was thinking we might one day have children together. Fletcher Jones has dibs.)

Heather had instructed us that we were free to leave once we completed the application and that we should see ourselves out the way we came. So off I went. When I hit the main lot two of the Salesmen stationed there were like "Hi! How did it go?" I was caught off guard by this, but responded that at this point it went about the same for all of us. They laughed and said, "You're not from here, are you?" Me: "Uh, no. What gave me a away?" Them: "Where are you from?" Me: "NY/NJ".

I spoke to them a little longer, but never really managed to pinpoint WHAT gave me away. One said something about liking my style before he launched into a story about a girl he'd dated from Chicago (WHAT?????). I just kept walking backwards, smiling, and talking until it was safe to say, "Nice to meet you. Have a great day." and bolt. Arriving at Valet, Brian, the-valet-trained-to-be-a-fireman, (Stacey I thought of you!) also asked me how it went. After I got a little more of his life story and his well wishes I was off. Friendly group over there at Fletcher Jones Mercedes. But hey, considering I hadn't had any coffee

yet my day was off to a pretty good start.

I headed towards Starbucks before stopping by Barb's office to pick up some things. While I was there she and Cathy (Barb's friend/neighbor/intern) gave me some good advice about other types of jobs I might consider and where to look. I also asked them to give me a list of better restaurants around the area for me to check out (to put in an application, not to eat at). They gave me a good list and with that, a tv, and an invite to dinner at Barb's I was on my way.

I figured since I was pulled together for interviewing I might as well stop by some of the places on the list. I did and most just handed me a generic application and told me to drop it back off. I was ready to call it a day, head home to set up the tv, dismantle the car carrier, pack for San Fran, and get ready for dinner at Barb's. Then I saw that I was practically in the parking lot of one of the places on the list, Joe's Crab Shack. So I took a deep breath and figured I'd just run in and grab one more application. Well!

I walk in and there are about 15 other people filling out applications. It must be group application day, I thought. Next thing I know, Jerry is leading us all into a back room/porch. We all sit down and Jerry says, "OK. I want each person to give me 3 words that will make me remember them." I would say that most of the group opted to use the same words varying only the order: friendly, happy, and fun saw the most use. One guy went out on a limb with "driven". One girl used her name. I was towards the back of the group and went with New Jersey, orange, Syracuse. Jerry gave me a "you're not like the other kids" look. And I realized during this exercise that no, I wasn't. I was about 12-15 years older than everyone else there. So, I just laughed to myself and thought: "well, I'll just get through this and chalk it up to something to blog about". But wait. It gets better. It does.

Next, Jerry asks who likes to dance? (OH. MY. GOD. This is one of those restaurants like Johnny Rockets where they DANCE every 45 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Barb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Barb swears she does not remember there EVER being dancing when she was there. I think Barb is secretly getting a good giggle out of this.

We all get up and follow Jerry into the main dining area (oh, yes there are Customers) where he introduces us to "Jessica, one of Joe's TOP servers AND dancers!". Cue the music. (By God, there WILL be dancing!) Something called the Cha-cha Slide? I don't know, but I'm sure glad I knew the Electric Slide and that I went to EIGHT weddings this year. I think that helped. I slid to left. Slid to the right. Stomped my high-heeled-Cole-Haan-clad feet and tried not to croak. Cha-cha-cha.

I figured the the worst was over. And then Jerry took us out to the parking lot. Good. Shoot me. End this. If it got mafioso it would have been better. I'd have preferred sleeping with the fishes. Instead, Jerry divided us into 3 unequal groups and gave us 5 minutes to compose a cheer (F#&K!!!!!!!!) about Joe's. I considered making a break for it. After all, we were in the parking lot, and unlike some of the other candidates I had driven myself there, but my belongings were in that back room. Drat.

How was there not ONE high school cheerleader in my group? No pep squad. No color guard. No band geek. Just me and my 14 years at the Devine School of Dance. (You better believe that I wrote that on my application under "Special Skills". First time ever.) Thank gods for Yell Like Hell during Greek Week. I composed a little something:

"Pick 'em, peel 'em, eat 'em, shuck 'em. Eat. At. Joe's."

and though our choreography was lacking- no one was willing to do a basket toss- we got through.

Finally, we were allowed back inside and Jerry was going to meet with each of us individually. When it was my turn I approached Jerry, introduced myself, shook his hand, and handed him my application. And RESUME. He said, "So, Kate I take it you've graduated from college?". Yes, Jerry, yes, I have.

We spoke briefly. He told me he'd like to have me meet with his manager. I said great and shook his hand and left. If I hadn't been totally pressed for time at that point I would have posted this right away and it would have possibly been funnier because it was fresh. However, I wouldn't have been able to tell you that I got a call back today from Joe's Crab Shack and it looks like I'll be meeting with Joe on Thursday. I'd ask you to cross your fingers, but I'm not sure what I'm hoping for!